Small people

"Its almost like a game to them, and we're just disposable pawns," I sighed. "Except for the two scientists I liked, thats what it seemed like to the rest of them..." My eyes started going blank, my expression turning to one of anger, "They didnt care if we died, they could simply 'bring in more'; testing us later with cruel and absurd methods. They dropped the whole of the 4 year beta down a shaft multiple times to see if a gene for enhanced bone strength worked properly!" I paused, my whole expression going blank. "So...so many died..." My voice began quieting. "And...so many...so many where just s-suffering...what w-were we s-supposed to do? We were just ch-children. We...had no idea...no idea...we had no idea...we...we were going to...be the...be the cause..." I felt a sharp pain in my head again, but barely reacted. I tried to continue speaking, but no sound came. Instead, I collapsed to the ground, though I was still barely conscious.

"are uyou okay?!" i asked, my hands catching her just before she hit the ground, automatically checking for a pulse, wondering what was going on and why she had reacted how she did to remember, trying to remain calm

I looked at him, wanting to answer so desperately, but I felt like my jaw was locked, and I couldn't feel anything, like I went numb.

"nod if your okay..." i said gentally, seeing she was consious, and i ran my hand through her hair, playing with the pressure points on her neck, seeing if that would help

I was unable to move, but him pressing around my neck helped my body relax. I moved my eyes instead, since I was still sort of paralyzed.

"okay, so your just stiff is all..." i said, focusing on all her pressure points now with a more rigorous touch, hoping it owuld make it better

I tried moving again, but I still was paralyzed, mostly, only able to flinch or twitch my fingers. I couldnt even frown, but my eyes and eyebrows seemed to be the only things more or less fine, since I could feel them doing their part to express my annoyance. And I still couldn't talk. That bothered me the most. I had to tell him- wait. I had been telling him what our purpose- the original purpose of the fourth year beta- had been. Was there something stopping me from saying certain things, causing my jaw to lock, make me unable to move or speak? What- what had they done to me!? I needed to calm down, no longer be compelled to tell him anything, well everything I remembered, about the beta, for now. But my mind was in overdrive, so I supposed it would take awhile before I regained control of my body.

"seems you need a shock... is that right? from how active your eyes are, id assume it has something to do with how you were talking aobut things... do you need to be shocked out of thinking about it?"

'Shocked?' I looked at him, puzzled as to what he meant. I managed to make my hands into fists and open them again, and slightly move my head to a more comfortable position, but it felt like it weighed tons.

"...." i smiled apologetically and kissed her really hard, letting her see my feelings through actions, hopeing that would distract her on the hunch that i was right

That took me by surprise, since I half expected he would hit me. I blushed so heavily, and quickly moved my arms to his chest, as if id shove him off. But after the initial shock, I did no such thing.

"better?" i asked with a slight smile, pulling away after a moment so she could breath and speak

"...I dont know how I should react to this, but yes, im feeling better. "

"react how you think you should, if you dont like it, push me away, if you do, then do what you did..." i smiled gently

"....I think its too late for any reaction. Oh well...." I shrugged, standing up, though I was a bit weak still.

"so we will learn to avoid that subject... but can you remember it silently?" i asked, holding my hand out to her

I frowned deeply, my calm disappearing, and I looked away. "...........Its...not something desirable to meditate about..." Instead of taking his hand, I crossed my arms over my chest in a rather cold gesture, still not looking him in the eye.

"sorry... i was just hopeing you had your memories back so we could get going... i just wished you didnt have such a hard time..." i said quietly, noting her stance and stuck my hands in my pockets, giving her a little space

I looked at him, still rather coldly but with a hint of sadness. "My memories right now are very broken up, but it seems like I remember most of the worst now, unlike earlier, when I remembered the two scientists who treated me well..."

"its always like that at first... you need to just focus on the positive and know the worst is in the past now... sorry, i was bein stupid again..." i mumbled the last part, and Sonia walked up with a yawn, tugging on Risa's shirt "hello...."

Sonia surprised me, but I quickly put on a fake smile, getting rid of my cold glare. "Hello..."

"why are you so grumpy? its a nice day! will you come play with me?" Sonia asked, obvlivious, and i sighed, scratching my head as i stepped back and instead went to watch outside the hall to give them their moment, my mood sad now, trying to keep from scareing the others

"Of course!" I said, trying to shake off my coldness and unease, which had returned, instead showing my calm and happy facade to make sure I didnt ruin her authentic happiness. I had to apologize to him later. And let him know, somehow, the truth my memories were putting together. I was deceiving him- I had been this whole time, only realizing it as I recovered my memories. But I couldn't think of that now, for now I wanted to forget and play.

"lets make a house of cards!" she smiled, pulling out a deck of cards from a pocket that was inside the doll i had made her

"...." i grumbled and slid down, really having wanted to play cards with her and sat down, getting comfortable for a long wait due to how long Sonia liked to play

I turned and looked at him for a second before saying, "You could play too..."