The Wizards Assistant closed

"...." i nodded and looked at the tub and spoke quietly "you know the water spell, just mutter the word with your intention, which is to fill the tub and hold it there, and then see how long you can hold it..."

I nodded, and did as he told me.

".... very good..." i said, watching her quietly and sighed a little as i spoke "now, attempt to freeze it solid, with this Spell..." i said, speaking the word slowly, and waited for her paitently to either ask what was wrong, yell at me, repeat the word, or just stay silent, and i sighed mentally, wanting to go back to sketching things in my notepad for future referance and generations.... "my Magnus Opus... must be finished first..." i said quietly to myself, and i pulled it out, begining to sketch items and write down notes in clear consice words that seemed to cause the air around me to electrify, as if my focus was intence enough to do something, and i paused, the energy falling down, and waited paitently for her to attempt it

I tried to repeat the spell as he had told it to me, but my voice cracked on multiple occasions, until I just gave up. "...Can...we try this...some other time?" I said. It was too soon to try acting as if nothing happened, get over it, forget about it. I decided to just hide under the bed or something, or just straight out ask why me.But I'd probably start to cry, and I probably wasnt ready to hear it anyway. In the end, I didnt know what the hell to do.

".... use this to call me when your ready to ask your questions, magic related or otherwise.... ill be in the tower in the study if you need me...." i said quietly, my movements slow and clunky compared to my usual fluid movements, to the point where i walked into a wall, and sighed when i thought she was out of earshot "not that you ever will WANT to need me... none of the other companions or the apprentices did either... i dont know why i bother... one side says that i need to use my magic for good, the other says to use it to get revenge on the town in horrible ways... if she asks me to send her back, ill do it at the point where it will be sucessful, but to the point where i cant use magic to change my mind.... i... i cant take that lonliness again... i refuse to spend my life alone...." i muttered, leaning against the ledge to the open window as i watched the sun slowly lower past the horizen, ignoring everything else as i began to cry quietly

"..." I heard him when I guess he thought I couldnt hear him anymore. I calmly went over to him and gently tugged his shirt. "..." I realized I didnt really know what 5o say. 'Oh god, think think think think think think think of something to say...'

".... what...." i said quietly, my shoulders still shaking hard under her touch, and i pulled away slightly, looking at her from the courner of my eye... "if you cant tell me with words, speak with your actions..." i sighed finaly, my voice quavering, and i sniffled, trying to keep my emotions under control, knowing that if i got to uncontrolable, i would end up killing something

"Um...You dont have to send me back immediately, I can stay for a while..." I said quietly. "But I feel lonely and confused right now, since I barely know you and youre the only other person here, and im not used to this kind of environment. Im used to always being with people. And I never really traveled anywhere, so most of my friends I have known since way back," I explained, still holding his shirt, but I was looking down, my voice quieter than it usually was.

"you CAN stay awhile, its not WANT.... i was wrong to bring you here, as i did not have the right, to tear you away from your freinds... but when you return, it will be like you were never gone, as it will place you back in your time right before you left...." i said quietly, sighing "now you know how i feel, lonely and confused on how to stop it, as i dont have freinds due to most of my apprentices either ended up hating me, or they died... i was just so tired of no one wanting to talk to me besides my Artriarc, i acted on impulse..." i said with a sigh "and as such have made things worse..."

"...You are a very confusing and conflicted individual," I fumed. "Thats what I see, right now. I can stay- I mean, when you send me back it'll be like it never happened. But if you send me back now, well, it sucks for you. Even if I dont remember this later, it sucks for you. I dont like it when people are in your situation; It sucks, I know. So, I stay." I crossed my arms, waiting for him to respond.

"..... make sure this is what you want... and besides, i cant send you back now, it would kill me, and that is not a good thing... as for the remembering, you would remember everything but my name and face, due to the spells nature, it would make you forget something, and that would be the thing to choose"

I thought for a second. "Yeah, this is what I want. I want to stay, im totally fine with that. Besides, im going back later-not soon, im not going back as soon as you can send me back, im going to wait until things are better at this end."

"you dont seem to understand what that might entail... till things are better means until a girl willingly stays here because she likes me, or until im dead... i dont care what you say, your going back eventually...."

"...Youre incredibly cynical, im amazed you were able even to bring me here upon impulse..." I said, now getting irritated. "So in the end, in seems, you dont want me here at all. I dont want you to kill yourself to send me back. But you dont want me here, so, bye." I went to my room, taking the crystal with the artriarc inside, and started looking for the door to leave.

"not like i try to be that way..." i called softly after her, and sighed, following her "its just that i know what you want, but also know what i want, and am attempting to find a middle ground where one of us will be happy... its a burden i have to live with in order to stay alive... even if it means i cant be happy..." i said quietly, tears falling freely in front of her, and opened the door for her with a sigh, walking away "go ahead, leave if you will, i should have my energy to send you back where you came from in about a month in your time..." i said, muttering tiredly as i walked away, and my green flame appeared next to her after a moment "... i wont try and stop you... just know that weather you want it or not, hes attempting to keep YOU happy despite how miserable its making him...... gather what you may or may not need before you go, its a little while to the village... your artriairc knows the way, and in times of need can help you survive, just be aware that it can harm you if you let it use to much energy... but do keep in mind he will be here if you ever need a place to stay, albeit if you do leave, the most you will see of him is wandering from room to room to avoid you and when he cooks meals for you... do your best to be happy, else he find out and torture himself over not protecting you like he failed to do with Saundra and Arya..." the artriarc said, its voice lower and more meloncholy than usual

"....." I turned around, clearly irritated, my artriarc turning a blood red. I shook my hands in the air. "¡Ya! ¡Ya me harté! ¡Ni te decides! Ya estas loco! ¿¡Como voy a durar aqui!? ...Sabes, ni siquiera voy a pelear, me estresare más. Necesito...necesito..." When I got irritated, I yelled in spanish. (trans:Thats it! Im tired of it! You dont even make up your mind! Youre crazy! How am I going to last here!?...You know what? Im not even going to fight anymore, I'll become more stressed. I need...I need...) I headed to a kitchen and grabbed a knife. "No me enfades...Dont...bother me..." I sat down, stretched my arm across the table, and started tracing my arm with the knife, albeit lightly, as I had no attention of cutting myself. I just needed to focus, relax, focus...this was one of the few ways I could think clearly.

after translating what she said with a spell, my face darkened and i looked at her coldly "Changeing my damn mind?! MY damn mind!? All ive been doing is trying to keep YOUR STUPID ASS HAPPY, but NOOOO, we cant have that at all! My mind is the one thing i have left, after it caused me to lose the only two women i cared about, my wife and daughter! you have no idea what it means to go crazy, you have no idea what it means to suffer, to know what it means to be alone with absolutely NO hope of every finding someone to help you! at least im fucking trying to fix what my insanity has wrought, and once your gone, back to where your cruel ass belongs... ill end my suffering, ill join them, and be one with the so called god that my wife believed in! Wǒ bù zhīdào wǒ wèishéme bǎ nǐ dài dào zhèlǐ, wǒ xiǎng wǒ cónglái méiyǒu, yīnwèi tā zuìzhōng huì zài wǒ de xīnlǐ yǐjīng xiànrù kùnjìng de gèng róngyì! Nǐ shì tài kě pàle, nǐ kěyǐ ránshāo zài dìyù li, yǒu lèqù de, nǐ tā mā de artriarc jiào nǐ fǎshù, wǒ huāle duōnián cáinéng zhǎngwò! Hé dìyù, wǒ zhīdào, IM fēngle, nà huì fāshēng shénme shì shí, nǐ de zuǒbiān wèi zìjǐ shuōhuà rén de zhēnzhèng zìwǒ de yīzhǒng biǎoxiàn, suǒyǐ nǐ kěyǐ zìjǐ qù tā mā de, yǒu yīgè hěn hǎo de yītiān, nǐ wúqíng de biǎo zi!(Tanslation:I dont know why i brought you here, i wish i never did, as it would end up being easier on my already troubled mind! you are horrible, and you can burn in hell, have fun having your fucking artriarc teach you spells that took me years to master! and hell, i KNOW im crazy, thats what happens when your left to yourself to talk to a manifestation of ones true self, so you can go fuck yourself and have a nice day, you heartless bitch!)" i said darkly, my artriarc turning into a sickly green, but he distanced himself from me, and i hissed in my native speach things that made my artriarc shiver, and stomped off furiously to my room, the door slamming shut with such force the house boomed, scaring the birds

"...Someone seems angry..." I said softly, still tracing my arm with the knife. I knew he had left, but I kept talking, merely thinking out loud. "If you were trying to make me happy, you blatantly failed. No ones happy if they're somewhere they're not wanted, with people like you. You dont even try to let anyone help you, even though you want help. You assume everyone in the whole universe hates you. That youre the only one with such a loss. I can name lots of people who have lost more than that." I had an odd, distant stare in my eyes, heading into the cabinets and grabbing some of the spices he had there, and some water. I mixed them, then headed to the bathroom for bathsalts and soap, which I poured in as well. After everything was mixed, the water went from a strange murky color to clear again. I had made this mixture once before- And I had almost died, if I hadn't been rushed to the hospital it would have been the end of me, that there was almost a nonexistent chance of me having survived without the immediate attention I had recieved. I looked at the glass. "Well...down the pipes and down under, I suppose..." I drank its contents...then shortly after collapsed, sparsely breathing, the glass shattering as it hit the ground...but I was still conscious!? Last time I was down and out, I hadn't woken up until later, but now...this was painful, and my eyesight was blurring out. But I wanted to pass out already to end this quickly.

".... your potion doesnt work as it should, keep in mind you dont belong here, the same rules dont apply to you in this world... the fastest way to die is magical overuse..." my artriarc said sighing, watching as her artriarc pulled the toxins out of her body from a distance and sighed "the artriarcs primary function is the protection of our masters... you cant die as long as that artriarc is alive, unless you do it with magic, something you cant do as of yet as Master has yet to teach you spells that delve to deeply into the land of magics..." he said, aiding her artriarc, doing his best not to touch hers, as if the other hated him and sighed "at this point, what else is he left to believe? he knows hes a failiure, he killed his own wife and daughter on accident, thats why he left the town... and assitant after assistant left him for someone else, you tell me what else that man is left to believe in, when he has no knowlage of the outside world or its inhabitants... all he has known is suffering, and you being here only gives him more of a struggle, and its not that he doesnt want you to help, he does, he just doesnt know how to ask for it... would any rational man pull a woman from her home and ask for help? no, hes falling apart dear, and at this point, hes leaving everything in this house to you in the event that the spell hes devising to send you back, the one he spent all night working on, kills him... you may be able to list other people who suffer more, but he knows not of them, he has yet to see others suffer for what he has done, hes had yet to see anyone that had their children ripped from him and slowly devoured by magic with no way of stopping it, have failed to see their wives raped by demons and eaten alive in the process... so please, before you go killing yourself, ask yourself this, why hasnt he killed himself yet? he CANT kill himself, hes cursed to these lands, he cant leave them, he cant die on them, he needs outside assistance to do so.... all the others... they refused to kill him..."

I sat up, still dazed from the poison. "...Well...I guess i'll just try to be more helpful and understanding of the situation...I really want to stay and help..." my artriarc turned back to its orangey-reddish color. "I dont get why he treated me so much better when he had my memory supressed though..."

"is he really treating you that differant, or is he pulling away in order to let you think through your problems without his interfearance? perhaps he wants to let you think, or is afraid he will be exiled again... his heart is full of light and dark, and it is in a dangerous place..." he asked gentally

"...I think he thinks I hate him too, along with everyone else in the universe..." I sighed.

"well, if you do, then he is right, but if you dont, go tell him, it would do him some good to hear hes done something right, or that someone DOESNT hate him... hes similar to a child, he still doesnt have a decent understanding of what is acceptable behavior..,." my Artriarc smiled gentally

"....Explains the tantrum." I started walking towards the room he had locked himself in, and knocked softly.

"..... dont expect him to say much... he is refusing to speak else he unleash his powers.... he is already in a fragile state, do be careful, and understand his silence isnt completely due to fury, its to protect people like he promised in the past... he will do his best to be levelheaded though...." My Artriarc said quietly, opening the door for her, and my head shot over at the door with a gaze so intence my artriarc froze, and i slowly went back to stareing outside, sighing quietly as i held something to my chest quietly, my shoulders barely moving